I got back to La Paz today, after my foray into the jungle. (I say jungle because it sounds cooler but I was actually on a ‘pampas’ tour. Just so we are clear. And you don’t think I am an imbecile.)
So I flew to Rurrenabaque (or Rurre for short) on Monday afternoon and was greeted by this amazing whoosh of warm tropical air as the doors of the teeny weeny plane were opened. Thermals, jerseys, jumpers, jackets and the like were whipped off right there on the grass runway and I almost ALMOST performed a celebratory running man at the excitement of being warm. To be fair, Bolivia hasn’t been that cold. I am just used to having feeling in my fingers and toes at ALL times, having mostly lived in lovely warm climates. (I also have a mother who mock charges when she is cold. So no hope for me really when it comes to making friends with temperatures below 20 degrees.)
Anyway Rurre was cute and run down and kind of reminded me of Thailand. And I was lucky to be on a tour with some cool people and I got along with them rather well. We were definitely a mixture but it seemed to work.
Highlights of the 3 day tour were seeing the “pink” river dolphins and swimming near them. Although to do this I had to forget everything I had learned on Kariba about not swimming near the shore if I didn’t want the crocs to eat me breakfast. When we swam with the dolphins I was basically standing chest deep in the river water and was able to see all the caiman (think small crocodiles) sunning themselves on the river banks – I was just waiting for them to get off their lazy asses to come and chomp us but they didn’t. Other highlights were the DOPE fish dinner in Rurre the night before the tour left, chilling on the boat wending its way slowly down the river and also catching pirahnas and being man enough to take them off my hook by my clever self. The only lowlight was a brief period about an hour into python hunting on day 2. We had been bashing around the swampy bush in the hot sun, getting bitten to all hell by all the mosquitos on God’s earth and I was well and truly over it. Picture the following (you know how I love this): me at my most attractive, one frigging giant sweat patch, a too-small army camouflage wide brim hat (purchased on a whim in Rurre) yanked low on my head cutting off the circulation to my brain, several stray hairs plastered to my puce face, swamp water leaking into my too-big gumboots, into which my dirty backpacker- poo-grey-quick-dry pant were tucked. I had also sprayed myself with so much insect repellent that when I cradled the massive bottle of water (that was going to save me from heat stroke and certain death), the blue and green colouring from the label spread all over my arms so that I looked like a sick smurf in the arm region. I had also managed to bugger up my neck sleeping funny the night before and I was unable to rotate it more than 1 degree in either direction without feeling serious pain. This caused me to behave like I was suffering from a mild case of Tourette’s Syndrome. Every time I moved my neck slightly to take in the beauty of the nature it would hurt and I would yelp out curse words. How we ever managed to locate a python with me shouting out ‘Shit! Arse! Balls!’ is still beyond me. But luckily one of the Canadian girls managed to spot one that was obviously hard of hearing and the outing was deemed a success and we were able to get the ‘Shit! Arse! Balls!’ out of there!
So yes. Back in La Paz, the capital of Bolivia and apparently the location of the highest most things in the world. For example, before I left for Rurre, I went for “the highest curry in the world” with some people I met at the guesthouse I stayed in when I was in Sucre. It was while consuming this highest curry that we were got round to discussing something that I had already kind of started to realise: La Paz is crazy.
I will now list the main list of attractions of this city and you can decide for yourself:
The world’s most dangerous road: You basically get driven out of La Paz and bike 30km or so down this crazy road where, these days, most traffic fears to tread. A few weeks ago a Japanese tourist went off the edge of the track and died. Several people who I have come across are also sporting injuries from their ride. I therefore decided to give this a swerve. Call me crazy but I don’t want to spend the next few months in Latin America with my arm in a sling or a wedge of titanium holding my jaw in place.
San Pedro Prison: If you have read the book ‘Marching Powder’ you might have heard about this crazy prison, where inmates have to buy their own cell and can bring their families to live with them. It is used to be possible to visit the prison and even stay overnight with the inmates. I think some people still do. Possibly after smoking some crack. Pure craziness!
Route 36 Cocaine Bar: It doesn’t have a fixed address because it moves around to avoid the authorities shutting it down, but this bar is still here – for tourists to ‘score some coke’. Or at least I think that’s what the cool kids are still calling it. As you may have gathered I am not really down with it. If someone offered me cocaine I would probably try and sprinkle it on my muesli.
The witches market: This was not as crazy I had thought it was going to be. I was expecting a musty dark alley, hunched witches with gammy eyes hiding in dark corners muttering evil curses at me while chewing on newt eyeballs plus the odd live animal sacrifice. Obviously. All I really got was smiley women offering me love potions, dried llama foetuses and handbags.
Cholita Wrestling: Basically these sweet little ladies get dressed in traditional Bolivian outfits and beat the bejesus of out each other, apparently not unlike WWF but with less spandex. And people go and watch and cheer them on.
Anyway tomorrow I head off on what can only be described as a mammoth journey to my next destination in Peru. Because I didn’t spend as much time in Argentina as I thought I would, I have a bit of time to kill before I go to Cusco to mission on the Inca jungle trail that I have booked for the beginning of July. So as one does when one has time to kill, one volunteers at an eco yoga park. Now don’t be alarmed, there will be hare krishnas there and I may have to participate in some light chanting. But if I am cool with it, you should be too. Please note that due to this, for a good while I won’t be engaging in blogging (Marita!) or emailing or Facebooking or texting, as I will be shunning the evils of technology and so on and so forth. But should have lots to tell when I next come into contact with a pc computer et al.
Peace and love and tofu cheese, bitches!
PS Was going to load photos. But then I didn't.
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